Paris Hints

Over the years, I’ve learned some things that might be helpful to a Paris new-comer. I hope they are, anyway…

Don't Make a Snap Judgement!

Years ago, as I started to travel internationally with Boeing, a colleague gave me the best travel advice ever: “Don’t judge a place until you’ve been there at least 24 hours.”

Here’s what happens - and had happened to me the first international trip I took:

You arrive after a long flight. Going to Europe you will have almost certainly flown through the night and maybe you sleep on the airplane (I do not at all), but it wasn’t a good sleep, so you’re really tired.

You’ve traveled across eight or nine time zones, so your body is way out of sync with what time it is and what time it feels like it is.

Everything is different. You can’t read the signs and you can’t understand the simplest things said to you because you don’t speak the language. (If you thought you could speak it, because you took a year of it in high school, you’re now learning that you don’t speak it.)

The streets are different, the buildings are different, the cars are different, the hotel is different, the bed in the hotel is different. Nothing is the same as back home.

The money doesn’t even look like American money and you have no idea what you’re paying for anything.

In this situation, it is very easy to conclude that you don’t like the place. And once you come to that conclusion, it’s difficult to change it, even if you get used to some of the many differences. Having come to that conclusion, your brain wants to keep to it, and that can just ruin your time in a new place.

The solution, as my Boeing colleague told me, is: Don’t judge a place until you’ve been there at least 24 hours. (I have sometimes given a place more than that - two or three days, sometimes.) This gives you a chance to get over some of your sleep deprivation, get over some jet-lag, have a good meal or two, get used to how things look different a bit, just get a bit more comfortable with all the differences.

Honestly, this advice has saved me much grief. I have traveled to some crazily different places (Malawi and Swaziland, in central Africa, for examples) and I could have easily said, “I hate this place” within an hour of arrival. By waiting a day or two, I saw good things and got used to less-than-good things, and found that the experience of being in those places had some rewards.

So when you arrive in Paris, remember that everything will be different and take a day to ease into the city’s life, then, if you dislike it, you can say so and make adjustments. But you almost certainly will find your initial dislikes fading away and the beauty of Paris taking over.

Be Polite

The French are by and large, a polite people, so go with the flow. Always (and I do mean always!) start a conversation with a greeting: “Bonjour Monsieur/Madam/Mademoiselle” (whichever is appropriate, or you can just go with “Bonjour”). Start your conversation with “Bonjour,” then give the other person a couple seconds to respond with a “Bonjour” (which they will do), then say what you want to say. This exchange of “Bonjours” establishes a bond of sorts, and is very important. (For more, see French Etiquette

In Shops

France in general and Paris particularly has many small shops, where there may be just the owner and maybe an employee or two. These people believe that their store is like their home, and when you enter their store, you’re entering their home. So say “Bonjour” when you enter. When you order something or ask for something, always do it with a “S’il vous plait.” Then, when you leave, say “Au revoir” and, if you’ve received any help at all, “Merci, au revoir.” I guarantee you that this seems like a small thing, but is not; it’s a big deal. I have seen merchants get ornery with people coming into their store, looking around and leaving without a word, and I once had a cooler-than-expected transaction in a boulangerie in which I’d shopped every other day for a month (and so was well-known there) and realized later that in my rush, I had not started with “Bonjour.” I have little doubt that was why I noticed a less-friendlier interaction.

Don’t just leap into English, thinking everyone will understand. In Paris, it’s likely that someone will speak some English, but you will have a better interaction if you start, after “Bonjour” of course, with “Je regrette, je ne parle pas la Français” (pronounced “jhe regret, jhe parl pas la francais.” Yes, that’s right, despite what you learned in high-school French, the “ne” negation is seldom used in spoken French). Starting this way, the person to whom you’re talking may respond in English, but appreciate that you didn’t just assume that they would. I cringe seeing Americans not even trying to say hello, good-bye, please and thank-you.

In larger stores or supermarkets, you won’t say anything when you enter because there’s no one there to say it to. But when you reach the cashier or if you interact with any employee, start with a “Bonjour” and leave with a “Merci, au revoir.” Always.

The Snooty French

There remains a stereotype of the “snooty” French person, but I kind of doubt that this stereotype was ever true and it certainly is not now. In the total of 20-22 months that we’ve spent in France, we have run into one - count ‘em: one - snarky French person, a waiter who “didn’t understand” when I ordered the salad special of the day. Follow the polite rules and you will have no problem. Learn a few phrases - Bonjour, au revoir, s’il vous plait, de rien, merci - and you are unlikely to have any problems. We have found the French to be warm and friendly. You will, too.

I have a problem

If you do, indeed, have a problem that someone can help you solve, you always start the conversation with: “Bonjour (Monsieur or Madam or Mademoiselle). J’ai un problem.” (That’s pronounced Jhay an problem - kind of a soft ‘j’). We have heard and seen that French people really want to help solve a problem, and this phrase seems to trigger that urge in them. We ran into a problem once (a credit card left the day before in a café in a museum) and I started the explanation with “Bonjour, monsieur. J’ai un problem.” By the time we retrieved our credit card, half a dozen people had gotten involved, and all wanted to help, and all were happy when the card was found and returned to us.

Restaurants

The first couple trips I made to Paris I enjoyed myself less than I could have, because I was always worried about the next meal, which would, of course, be the meal at which I made an utter fool of myself or spent the vacation’s entire food budget. About the third trip, I realized that, even in fancy restaurants, I wasn’t going to be singled out and embarrassed. I relaxed and everything became better.

About that time I also realized that Paris has many informal ways to have a meal that are fun, inexpensive and relaxing. Every boulangerie in the city has excellent sandwiches; our favorite lunch is to buy a couple sandwiches, a couple desserts and go sit on the banks of the Seine. The creperies offer a lunch or dinner crepe, a dessert crepe and a bowl of cider (slightly alcoholic) for ten to twelve Euros. These places are very informal and relaxed. Salon de Té’s often have excellent light lunches and dinners; we know one that offers a crepe with smoked salmon and havarti cheese. We have eaten there at least once each trip.

My point is, you don’t have to spend your retirement stash on each meal in Paris; there are excellent value-for-money ways to eat in a real Parisian style and not be bug-eyed at la addition. And you don’t have to fear the experience - you’ll be fine.

Walk

Not too much to explain here. Paris is an eminently walkable city and you can only feel the real Paris if you walk it. Our favorite walk is anywhere along the Seine at night, particularly around the quais of Ile de la Cité and Ile St. Louis; when we stayed on Ile St. Louis we did that walk every night and we still find a way to do it when we’re there. In 2013, the city opened up two long areas of the river for walking and watching the traffic on the river; they are wonderful walks. So walk, walk, walk; you won’t believe how much you will absorb. And look up! Paris is a city of beautiful buildings; you’ll see them only if you look up.

I have written more fully on these subjects and others that may help you feel more comfortable when you’re in Paris. Send me an email (Email) and I’ll send them to you.